Self Destruction only had one official 12â? single for the album, â??Ice Coldâ? (b/w â??All I Knowâ? and the single-only cut, â??Such Is Lifeâ?). This was around the time when 12â? singles were starting to lose a bit of steam and the focus was shifting more toward full-lengths and digital releases. However, there was a second single for the album planned. â??Overthrowâ?, an album favorite for many, was planned to be the A-side with â??Everyday Shitâ? on the B-side. There was also a plan to include an unreleased ANT produced track on the single as well. When we first stumbled upon the master for this single, it didnâ??t have a track listing, so there was some debate about its origins, specifically the title. Through that process, it was dubbed â??What Can I Do, Where Can I Turn?â?, based off the hook. However, further discussion with I Self Devine revealed that this was initially intended to be a remix for the song â??Transitionsâ? from the Semi.Official project, but it was never used.
As for the track itself, I Self said, â??I donâ??t know what the sample is, but the blues guitar invokes a certain kind of emotion. It reminds of a smoky hickory wood type (of song)â?¦like when you look at the fingers you can tell theyâ??ve worked in the field, just like, itâ??s been worn in. That good worn in, like youâ??ve lived some life." He adds with a laugh, â??Itâ??s kind of like with the Bluesâ?¦if youâ??re young and liking the Blues then youâ??re definitely reincarnated cause you ainâ??t lived enough, had enough heartbreak, you havenâ??t been broke enoughâ?¦â? Immediately from the songâ??s start, you feel that heavy Blues essence. Before I Self speaks a word you can feel the weight of struggle from the music, but at the same time those same sounds are providing a sliver of hope. When I Self steps to the mic, he strongly expresses thoughts of frustration, looming death, and mounting struggles, â??Iâ??m up late haunted by the visions of death/snatching my breath, paralyzed inside my physical flesh/I'm dead tired eyes burning, having ill hallucinations/Yet the words keep spilling thru my pen, flow gracefully/Acute taste for weed, Hennessy drowning my misery/Will my death be known or a mystery, is mystery/Itâ??s hard living hard, giving all that you got/Instead of life, Iâ??m dreaming how Iâ??m going get taking out/Stabbed by your friend or enemy/Family with envy and jealousy/Tortured inside a police fortress for feloniesâ?¦â?
If you ever heard Atmosphereâ??s â??You Canâ??t Imagine How Much Fun Weâ??re Havingâ? album then you heard a sneak peak of this track. Near the end of â??Angerfaceâ? when Slug says, â??So I waited till she slept then I stepped into trafficâ?¦â? and the song breaks down in to a quick traffic scene and the car is playing this song, right at the hook. According to ANT, he thought this was a great song, so when he heard it wasnâ??t getting released he made a point to get it heard in some little way at the very least. Thatâ??s why he decided to use it on â??Angelfaceâ?. ANT also says that it was after making this track, as a Semi-Official remix, that him and I Self Devine decided to work on Self Destruction together. So, although this song didnâ??t make the album, it was ultimately the catalyst to set it in motion.
When asked about the tone and concept of the song, I Self explains, â??To me (it) was questioning and ponderingâ?¦being at a pivotal fork in the road with many different optionsâ?¦(so) where do I go? Sometimes youâ??re just overwhelmed and you just want to lie down.â?
Accompanying Art: If you didn't know, I Self Devine, along with all of his other skill sets, has also spent the greater part of his life exploring his talents as a visual artist as well. In fact, as one example, he painted the cover art for the Semi Official album. Besides painting, I Self has also developed a great style for collage work. And, around the time of "Self Destruction" he worked on four different collage pieces as possibilities to use for the mixtape artwork, but they never wound up getting used. This is 2nd from that series of collages we have shared in this campaign.
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